NEPOTISM AND THE BOLLYWOOD FILM INDUSTRY | WHAT KILLED THE ‘OUTSIDER’?

Designed: SharatChandran Nair

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Blog Written by: Kartik Nair

Note: The views expressed in this blog are entirely personal.

 

What is the first word that came to your mind when you saw the big image or the title? Was it favouritism, cronyism, partiality, patronage, or was it a wave of anger, frustration or sadness that you experienced? Or did you think of a recent incident which showed the ugly face of nepotism to the world? This blog on Nepotism and the Bollywood Film Industry is not just about the situation surrounding the mysterious death of Sushant Singh Rajput, it is about how nepotism as cancer that has crept up in our everyday life, and exists only to eat up and finish us as a whole. 

DEFINITION AND ORIGINS OF NEPOTISM

Nepotism is not new. But before I dive straight in and try and explain what it is all about and about its origins, its relevance in the present-day context, etc., I would like to give you a basic definition. Nepotism, in a nutshell, is favouritism or preferences granted to close ones or relatives due to familiar or blood relations, instead of rewarding proper candidates based on merit such as performance, personality, achievements and results to name a few. On the other hand, cronyism is favouritism to friends or contacts, again based on a relationship than merit.

As stated previously, the origin of nepotism is not recent. In the Middle ages, nephews of Popes and bishops were given important assignments, as owing to their vows, they couldn’t produce an offspring. The position based on preference had thus, started. One such example is the head of the Borgia family, Pope Callixtus III, who made one of his nephews, Rodrigo as a cardinal, who then rose to become Pope Alexander VI. Tamil poet and philosopher Thiruvalluvar in his Kural literature (Thirrukural) spoke about nepotism and favouritism as both evil and unwise, in as early as 500 AD. No wonder nepotism comes from the Italian word 'nepotismo' (Latin-Nepos meaning nephew.) And nepotism is rampant everywhere, right from the film industry to organizational positions, employment roles, politics, etc.

Empathize with a top-tier MBA grad who takes a massive study loan, studies his bottoms off for a couple of years, does gruelling assignments and then, finally manages to work at a family-oriented company. Doesn't it sound funny, when you think he will be presenting to his ‘boss’ (a 20-year old kid)? And guess what happens when he thinks he'll join the 'club' climb the ladder to join the family ranks. Well, that does not occur. We need to understand that most of these individuals are talented, qualified and skilled. But, let’s step in the shoes of the MBA grad for a moment to realize one thing. No matter how much he excels, he knows he would never join the ‘ruling class’ ranks.

NEPOTISM IN INDIA

We’ve all heard of rampant corruption in India at all levels, haven’t we? But what about nepotism? Disturbing as it may sound, nepotism is in bed with various industries; from politics to business, from religious organizations to industries, from arts and creators, and from the film industry to one of the places you may never think of it to exist: the Judiciary. Again, these are a few examples. Well, you might be still stuck at the judiciary, unable to believe it, aren't you? Well, I was as shocked as you when I was researching for my blog on nepotism in India today. There are allegations of appointments of judges and senior officials to the Supreme Court and High Courts, based on nepotism and favouritism, or even castism and regional preferences, as the offices of judges of the High Court and Supreme Court are done through a non-transparent collegium system, which recommends names to the President for an appointment. And yes, this is in accordance with the law and is done in a legally bound way. And before you start looking for it, no! – I will not be talking about the role nepotism plays in shaping internal political party developments or leadership.

This sense of belonging to a specific class is ingrained in the higher Indian economic order. In India, talent, hard work and performance are subordinate to dynasties or certain categories of people, if you may see it that way. And it is everywhere. Well, think about reservation in the Indian government hierarchy and here is a place with a 100% reservation for the family offspring for the upper ranks. A strong irony, isn't it? Looking at it from the hard-lined culture and societal way, the person tends to reflect less of himself and more of his family. Although I have made a separate section in this blog on nepotism in the Bollywood industry, think about the top actors who appear on the big screen. Yes, they are sons or daughters of current or former film stars, directors or writers. For hundreds and thousands of people flocking to the dream city of Mumbai, hoping to make it big, here is the hard, harsh reality. The probability of gaining prominence and rising to the top is almost non-existent.

Also, remember the MBA grad example I gave in the previous section? Well, let me tell you that almost 75% of India’s top business groups are family-owned, and in just last year had a combined wealth of over INR 26 Lakh Crore. Nepotism cripples us and encourages mediocrity, at all levels, and almost nobody no matter how the laws are structures is immune from that.

NEPOTISM AND ITS TRYST WITH THE BOLLYWOOD FILM INDUSTRY

As of now, there are varying theories behind the death of one of Bollywood’s most promising superstars, more importantly, an outsider who had to create a name for himself in a ‘surname-dominated’ industry. Whatever said and done, this debate on nepotism is a turning point not just in the Bollywood film industry, but for the larger Indian society as well. In a fast-paced world, a distinction between the portrayed self and the ideal self is a challenge for most people, more so in this industry. For a famous celebrity, the problem is to measure himself continuously in comparison to his personal markers in any industry, most probably for 'acceptance'. The present-day Bollywood film industry is primarily controlled by a set of few people or their families, popularly known as dynasties. The discrimination between star kids and outsiders have been going on ever since Bollywood acquired an industry status in 1998.

Bollywood failed Sushant. A look into his past, his memoirs reveal him seeking for acceptance in the industry. Here, the approval is not wrt. the viewers. It is for a handful of certain elites who set the rules in the Hindi film industry. For Sushant, his work was never given ‘due credit’ and was just considered as a talented outsider. Compare him with Arjun Kapoor for a second. (And no, do not laugh!) Arjun Kapoor may not be able to act at the same level, but even if the movie flops terribly, it still ends up making a profit or getting at a break-even point, thanks to various strategies used by industry bigwigs. More importantly, Arjun will get to do another role at a better cinema, if not worse. That is perhaps one of the biggest reasons for India producing few critically acclaimed movies in the biggest playground for actors, producers and financers in India-Bollywood. For a lot of players, the star kids are often seen as a failsafe to generate more significant revenues than to engage or promote real talent.

In a free, democratic country like India, a person can work with anyone; a director or a producer has each right to select the potential actor, the talent they would want to work with. The problem starts when such bigwigs begin creating classes or camps that disable the chance of fair opportunities for others.

Source: Internet | Concept and Design: SharatChandran Nair

What do you have to say regarding this? The fraternity, the family, called Bollywood? For me, it is nothing more than statutory messages (as a large number of them were part of the 'industry') or even crocodile tears, if I may call it that way. The definition of people being plastic is taken to a different, ridiculous dimension. Celebrity hairstylist Sapna Bhavnani spoke about the shallowness of the industry and how nobody was anybody’s friend. In the cold, cruel industry, one flop for outsiders meant them being treated as untouchables. The aftermath of Sushant’s death led to cases being filed against top industry figures. Also, he was removed from a lot of films, and some of his movies were not released. And this is not just Sushant. A lot of actors and actresses (outsiders) have been signed and dropped from projects for these ‘insiders’. Even for some outsiders who achieve a certain amount of celebrity status, they get little compliments and not real perks or incentives like those reserved for various star-kids. And Sushant knew this. In one of his videos about nepotism, he stated that nepotism could co-exist and nothing would happen, but if one, intentionally didn't allow the right talent to come up, there would be a problem. In a letter to one of his fans, he even begged people to watch his films, lest he is kicked out of Bollywood, and that he had no Godfather in the industry.

Unlike a lot of star-kids, Sushant was genuinely talented and bright and more importantly, was more of an intellectual character. One look at his social media posts reveal articles and posts about data analysis, physics, the galaxy, planets etc. The wide space. Ironical, isn't it? A star more interested in stars than merely making it to page-3 news. Bollywood may seem like one big happy family, but Sushant’s deaths have exposed a large structure with various cracks. But then, why was he not helped by this big family, which is Bollywood? Sushant Singh Rajput for me is not just an individual, it is a face, a voice of countless, talented artists who were ignored and poorly treated by this industry. There were Sushants before, there are, and there will be. We need to ensure that, in time, no other Sushant suffers again. And it has to start now.

Thank you, @sushantsinghrajput. You will be remembered for the right reasons.

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THE POWER OF STATUES | WHEN ART BECOMES A POLITICAL STATEMENT

Designed: Sharatchandran Nair

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Blog Written by: Kartik Nair

Note: This blog reflects the personal views of the author and is intended for educational and informative purposes and doesn't intend to downgrade anyone in any manner.

The Power of Statues. Yes, that indeed is what my blog today is going to be about. As a symbol of art and expression, it intends to commemorate a person or someone’s life, but is it capable of more than that? Can a symbol of art become a political statement? To start with, it would be a good idea to understand the notion of statues as symbols of power. I will also be delineating the basic understanding of statues as a tool of art and how it is used in the Indian context before addressing a newfound connection between racism and statues.

STATUES AS A SYMBOL OF POWER

Not only do statues and/or memorials symbolize the past or create its narrative, but it also serves to recreate and express the societal values, that are inherent in us, somewhere, which could possibly be designed or crafted by historical events. It can be an ode to our patriots or statesmen or could be a religious creation. Maybe it is built to preserve cultural heritage or to revere leaders or politicians, or to immortalize individuals (sometimes animals) and their life-changing impact on both societies and their cultures. But, in a democratic world, where we elect our leaders and politicians and when we indirectly get a voice in the functioning of country or the government, it becomes fair to say that politics tends to become an inclusive element in our lives, with politicians reflecting our society. Therefore, statues of politicians and political leaders and even political monuments are an integral part of a country's history and culture.

But what happens when art is separated from its aesthetic component and viewed as a tool for politics or political movement? Does it remain the same? Does it gain or lose prominence or significance? According to a sculpture artist Vivek Agarwal, when art becomes political, the nation pays a terrible price. Just like politics, the element of art stands out for itself and makes one introspect. One can safely infer that when art is used as a medium of radicalization, it eats upon its fundamental element of beauty. The location of the statues is also essential. One may argue the significance of the presence of statues at public landmarks, airports, etc. but having them located at children's parks, schools, busy crossroads, etc. might not be a good idea. Add to it the cost of maintenance and cleaning that the state has to bear with. Statues can also become a source of media and history, for it honours values, cultures and traditions, reflecting the very time in which it was created and erected. To strengthen my stance, and before getting into the main idea, let me talk about the importance of statues as a powerful tool in politics in India.

INDIA AND HER TRYST WITH STATUES

Well, who can probably understand and witness this better than us, Indians? Statues of political leaders are mainly constructed for promoting, propagating and maintaining political interests. In the pre-independence days, this was done by a few British officials, and well, today, this unwritten privilege to make a statue a lasting memory of themselves is done by almost all political leaders or parties. Again, they are used to showcase heroic politicians, moments and significant events.

But this is not limited to India alone. If we have the world’s tallest statue, the Statue of Unity (a ~600ft statue of Sardar Patel), the USA has the Statue of Liberty. (Well, it is half the size of the Statue of Unity) China has the 420 ft Temple Buddha in Henan. Is there a statue race? Well, both yes and no! The Statue of Shivaji (off the Mumbai coast) is proposed to be ~700ft (and a cost of ~2800 Crore INR is projected for the same). Economically, the Sardar Patel Statue cost the economy over 2900 Crore INR. This is, as I believe substantial to state that statues are sort of political projects aimed at garnering future dividends.

In India, the ‘statue wars’ if you may call it that way, addresses the situation inwards, touching upon the local political construct. Like life-sized cutouts and aggressive campaigning, statues soon became a primary political tool in this modern era for politicians to patronize their supporters and build their vote bank. Kamal Nath inaugurated a 101 ft Hanuman in Madhya Pradesh, Akhilesh Yadav laid the foundation stone for a 200ft. Maitreya, late Tamil Nadu CM Jayalalithaa announced a plan for a “mega statue” of Mother Tamil (Tamil Thai), etc. All said and done, politicians use this as a tool for status-building and a tool which could possibly garner future tourism. Political analysts also saw the Statue of Unity as a strategic move by the BJP to appropriate Sardar Patel against Nehru. The move to put the Iron Man of India (Or the Bismarck of India) on a global map was very well received in a lot of states. Today, it stands as an identifier representing a nation. (Just as the Statue of Liberty represents the USA). 

The criticism part is an integral part of democracy and is not to be left far behind. Rahul Gandhi admonished the move as a ‘Made in China’ one as the bronze plates used were manufactured by a Chinese firm. A lot of reports also cited Indian Public Sector Companies funnelling their Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) funds into the statue. The critics would state that the gigantic sums of money could be better used for addressing poverty and social security issues. They see the statue-building thing prioritized over social development. Well, money is a limited resource and needs to be allocated correctly and after much planning and thought.

ARE STATUES USED AS A MEDIUM TO CEMENT OPPRESSION AND RACISM?

Well, now that you have a good understanding of statues, I believe it’s time we talk about the issue at hand. To start with, do you know the significance of May 25? Okay, May 25, Minneapolis, USA? Try again. May 25, 2020, Minneapolis, George Floyd. Well, well. You got it, didn’t you? Who was George Floyd? He wasn't a famous personality or one who had amassed wealth or fortune, nor was he was not killed at an urban centre, or the nation's capital. He was, in fact, killed at the 46^th largest city in the United States. But why did his death inspire protests from the Western to the Eastern hemisphere, from the Northern to the Southern hemisphere? More importantly, why did nobody march or protest after Eric Garner was filmed being choked to death in Paris (2014)?

Well, the case of George Floyd (as in the case of police violence against African-Americans) and the wave of protests that followed can be seen with different angles and perspectives. Let’s start with the President of the United States (POTUS), Donald Trump. A lot of studies done on racism and social issues in America highlight the POTUS as a man who has set out to sow the seeds of division. A lot of Americans agree that before 2016, there was a president who could bring the nation together at a time of racial tension.  Or is it because of the legal system that allows cops to get away with murders or have access to ballistic armour and military-grade weapons from the Pentagon? African Americans earn close to $18,000; compared to a ten-fold earning of their white counterparts. Is the government promoting racism by increasing the gap in schooling, policing or health? Or is it due to the broken down schooling, health care and working system? A lot of people would even state that whenever America suffered misfortune, it was the Black American who suffered the most and that the police was being used to safeguard the city’s powerful and wealthy.

The violent protests which broke out showed a different side of the ever-glorious, accepting and prosperous America to the world. The protests spread to over 350 cities in America itself, not to mention other parts of the globe. Protests in Mexico and South Africa are mainly targeted towards police violence. In Brazil, 75% of the people killed in a year by the police are Blacks. A popular poll in America showed a spike in racial discrimination from 51% in 2015 to over 75% today. There were peaceful protests. There were violent protests. There were incidents of Arson, and in some cases, things went out of hand. But what really caught me, is the popular protest movements of statues being destroyed or vandalized of famous people (as we know them) in various countries. Tall, prominent, life-like figures build around multiple places of importance to re-live the person's contribution to society or the country. As stated earlier, statues are a piece of art with a historical touch. It even demanded to remove dozens of statues or monuments around the USA that glorified or promoted Confederate Generals who advocated slavery and who segregated the masses with their racial views.

In San Franciso, a statue of Cristopher Colombus was taken down, in New Orleans, a statue of John McDonogh was tossed into the Mississippi River, in Richmond, a statue of Cristopher Colombus was set on fire and was thrown into a lake. A bust of Ulysses Grant, statues of the Spanish missionary Junipero Serra and Francis Key’s bore the brunt of the angry protesters as well.  In Washington DC, Albert Pike’s statue was taken down, and echoes of “No justice, no peace” were heard throughout, as the statue burnt. Anti-racism messages were sprayed on the sculpture of Nathaniel Rochester. You may or may not be familiar with their names. But, hey, here's what happened to Sir Winston Churchill. Here’s a pic accusing him of racism in the Parliament Square.

Source:inews.co.uk

Well, what were a few things that were common among these people? Some promoted racism, others promoted division and slavery. Some destroyed indigenous tribes and their cultures. Some engaged in forceful acts of a religious conversion or stole the land or properties of indigenous tribes. Quite a few of them appeared as leaders and philanthropists, but their popularity was forged by years of slavery, racism, blood and oppression.  But what drove the people to pick on statues? The death of George Floyd galvanized people of all classes and races to come together and protest against racism and symbols of oppression. One may even argue that statues of confederate heroes were put long after the civil war to defend and propagate white supremacy. Take the case of Edward Colston. (A slave trader in the UK). His statue was not put up until 1895, almost two centuries after his death and long after Britain had abolished the slave trade in its colonies. You might not believe this, but the plaque instilled next to him had no mention of slavery. On the contrary, a lot of schoolchildren in Bristol remember him as a philanthropist and not a slaver.

While proponents advocate to keep them as it is, advocates of the "Black Lives Matter" movement see this as a fundamental flaw against equality and creation of an atmosphere of divide. See, statues are an interesting tool of art as symbols of power and history, right? They tend to provide a record of a country’s past, and shifting cultural paradigms today and how people may want to dismantle or remove them or even keep them as a record of their country’s past. Can art (esp. statues) channelize the large public and act as a tool of continued oppression? Should the media and the government prosecute those who topple statues? Should they be taken down or be transferred to museums or left to rot or be destroyed by rioters? Well, in Mumbai, India, the statue of Edward VII was consigned to a zoo.

“I had rather men should ask why my statue is not set up, than why it is.” - Plutarch

**SharatChandran Nair is ever inquisitive for new ideas and designs and loves to learn and create visual content. You can check out his artwork by clicking on his name.

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BEING MYSELF | COMING TO TERMS WITH THE PRESENT

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Blog Written by: Kartik Nair

Note: This blog is based on my personal experiences and is not meant to show-off, but to instead emphasize upon the more important topic in the picture. The views are personal, and so, this is a personal read. And it has nothing, absolutely nothing to do related to Michelle Obama's 'Being' in any manner. That is something phenomenal. Oh, and I am definitely not a preacher. Enjoy the read!

Being yourself? Yes, this is the very essence of this blog. Unlike my other blogs, I've not done in-depth research on this one and is not something which concerns or intends to inform you, because this is based on my personal experiences. In India, we have been in a state of lockdown for almost 4 months now. In this time, I got to catch up on a lot of friends and 'potential-friends' as I call them, and know how they are going on with their life, dealing with this phase, etc. While many of them had nothing too great to talk about, some were saddened due to the loss of their loved ones, some had their jobs taken from them, some were on the loss of pay. The crux: A lot of my friends or contacts were going through tough times.

But what got me to actually sit and finalize on this topic was one common thing that many of my friends had to say, in common. It is more like analytics, where you tend to look at performing or indicative numbers, which might get you a start-point. This got me going. And, what was that thing they said? “Kaash life me mujhe aur kuch mila hota. Mereko idhar aana hi nahi tha. Meri zindagi kyu itni kharaab hai. Mene kiska kya bigaada hai?" (I wish if life had given me something instead of this. I never wanted to be here. Why is my life so bad-What have I done so bad that I deserve this?) This blog is for all of you, who think they are in a wrong place (and/or time) and that they should have gotten better. That you deserved better. That you could be much better used and appreciated at some other place. At some other role. At some different situation. At a much better pay-scale. Doing much higher things in life. Being contended.

Perhaps you tend to frequently visualize yourself to the person you ‘dream’ to be, you yearn to be, or you could have been, the organization you wanted to work for, the power or status that you could have had, both in personal and social spheres; little things which, if had been with you in the past could have changed who you are today. But, getting back to ground zero it is not. As you went through my previously written lines, you might have seen yourself there, but here you are. But should you worry about that? Can that be changed? How can you indeed be with yourself, accept yourself today, knowing you deserved better in the past?

Well, let me begin with something about me (And no, I am not going to answer it the HR way!) Well, for those who know me well, I was a carefree person, disillusioned from the realities of the world, sometimes practical, sometimes not, occasionally childish, at the other time mature, sometimes very dedicated and sincere, at the other times lacking in all of it way beyond you can think. You may also know that I was into sports. Well, I definitely did like sports. I did pretty well at the school level at Athletics and even went on to qualify for my state, Gujarat at the 2011 Inter-State West Zone Meet. Well, those little achievements plus some luck enabled me to get into the prestigious St. Xavier's College (Ahmedabad) via Sports Quota. (Believe it or not, no matter how I look now, I did it then!) Well, I got bored of it pretty soon (and my physique was not athlete-ready), and after a few discussions from my then coach, I shifted to Road Cycling where I did pretty well. A two-time district champion, state runner-up and a national level player (in addition to a consistent top 10/ top 15 performances in elite races) were proof that I 'had it in me' and that I could make it work.

My then coach told me that I would one day represent India (Boy, was that one thing I wanted to hear!) – But times and situations tested me. I found myself out of it pretty soon. In individual sports, you are your own warrior. If you play smart and strong, you win. If not, you're out. It's unlike team sports in that regard. Worried about my biking obsession (and that cycling was a costly sport, in terms of training and equipment)-My mother fondly asked me when I would be ‘taking it easy’. What she meant was simple: “Kartik, when are you going to stop racing and focus in life?” My answer was simple, “Mom, it shall be the day when I represent India once at the Asian championships." And I worked towards it. But my (never before seen) lazy attitude crept in, and I was off pro-sports. My 'elite certification' had become nothing to be proud of except to put or place somewhere on my resume. I was a very diet-specific person (Not like Sheldon Cooper though)-And I religiously followed my diet. If I had a cheat meal, I always made sure I biked long and intense enough to burn it off. Ask my then friends, and they can tell you what level of pain in the ass I was to take to restaurants or eateries. (I somehow found sadistic joy in the rare event of me going to McDonald's and asking for a burger without cheese, without sauce, without dressing and without mayo. I was even asked once, "Sir, so what do you want us to put inside? Lettuce, I said!)

Let's keep aside sports for a second! Let's get something else I wanted to be. Wanted to have a career in. Live it. The Indian Army. Yes, you heard it right! Given who I was, I believed (and a lot of closer people I met) that I had it in me to become an officer in the Indian Army. Well, I was reasonably intelligent, I was very fit physically and had an amicable attitude, among many other things. Heck had things, and my choice of arms would have worked out, I would have been a Captain today in the 9 Para Special Forces or perhaps would have been with the Aviation Corps. (What a loser, you might be thinking! Such tall dreams you see). Well, to clear the air, let me re-live those times when I cleared the UPSC Combined Defence Services examination twice. (Once for the Officers’ Training Academy, once for the Indian Military Academy). I reached the final round (conference, as it is called) in both my attempts, but never got recommended. And my age and drive soon ran out, and then, this too was out of the picture. (And my girlfriend left me shortly after this incident as well!)

During my interview with the Commanding Officer, I was asked for the reasons as to why I would like to be an officer with the army. The same rig. I told about my passion for the uniform and the force, my love for physical exercises and challenges and adventures, my ability to lead people and take them together, be sociable, be open to criticism, possible contributions I wanted to make in the army and the teams I wanted to play for. Well, I even imagined myself on a lot of occasions walking in the Kashmir Valley with my men in a counter-terrorist operation with an IWI Tavor Tar 21 in my hands (and with top-grade ammo in a rucksack on my back) and whatnot. I have seen myself represent the army, the services and in time, our country, India at the international level. (Just between us, I medalled at the Asian Games!) The very fact that I was an officer in one of the most prestigious organizations in the country made my parents happy, and my closed ones walked with their head held high. The society saw me differently, and somehow, I had way less difficulty in getting women to go on dates, with way fewer excuses. (Again, these are a few things that I thought).

Cut and back to the real world, here I sit with a future certain yet uncertain. I was working with one of the best institutions as an academic and quit a few months before the lockdown and here I am, preparing for an exam. I am obese and lazy, and way more and open and yes, creative than I was. At times, I am confused and am scared, and at times, I get irritated and blame things around me, and God for the possible things I did not get. Things that I thought I deserved.  To add to it, I see people who are, if I may, (and I am nobody to say so or judge someone)-Less deserving or competent than I am, or how they get their way in things. People way less talented, getting up somehow in life, without really putting on a good show. So, how did I come to terms with it? How did I come to terms with the fact that luck or success didn’t come to me even though I deserved it? I sometimes think I've failed.

To start with, it has not been easy. It has not. But, looking back at what I am today, who I am, makes me happy. Perhaps, if I had gotten recommended and I would have been in the army today, I would have to serve under strict rules and hierarchy, and I would have to be silent at times. Today, I need not do that. I have a space to speak. To voice my opinions. To share my views. Talk to people openly. Heck, I might not have been able to run this little blog site to share my opinions with you, dear reader. Yes, I definitely missed the style, the status, the hard work, the ass-roughening, the challenges, the other way of life, the experiences and lots of subsidised liquor, but perhaps, as a Special Forces operative, I would not have been alive to tell my tale today. I would not have been an academic at one of the most excellent B-schools in India, the IIMA. I wouldn't have been able to teach and assist in developing the future business leaders of India. I would never have remotely thought of pursuing an MBA or even doing a PhD in the future. I would not have gotten a chance to see who my real friends are, in my challenging times. I would not have gotten the opportunity to win at competitions. (This time its arts and academics, and not sports). I got to write my own blog, and keep my little spirit of content and essay writing alive, to make friends and to discuss ideas with a lot of new people, connect back to old people, etc. I got out of my toxic thinking that fat people were useless and that they could not do anything useful with their lives (Karma I guess!) From individual sports, after a long wait, I went to a fit centre engaged in group-fitness activities and got to interact and make friends with a lot of like-minded people. And my diet-control has obviously gone for a toss and have eaten a lot of things in larger quantities, the kind of stuff I used to detest, avoid, stay away from. Somehow, this is much tastier. But somehow there still lies this little guilt element.

But then, what happened to my dreams? My thoughts? Who I wanted to be? Well, thinking of it, pinches me a little, but it’s past now. I have come to realize that I can only learn from it and not change it. It took me a while to realize that and get a hold on it, but yes, I’ve sort of, come to terms with it. It did take time, tears, friends, health and a bit of my age, but it feels it's all worth it now. Would I have wanted to change it? Well, that's a difficult one. I am in no space to answer these questions. What would it have been for me to represent our country? To get sporting honours? To perhaps serve in one of the most elite branches of the Indian Army? Honestly, I do not know. As I said, I may not have even been alive to write this in front of you today. Life is not as smooth as it seems like or a bed of roses. There are frequent hiccups and challenges, and I somehow think all that makes it worth living. There have been changes yes, most of them towards the downward curve, but I think, this will all be worth it, in the end. Today, I thank my parents, God, my dog Nano (she is no longer with me), my loved ones, friends, critics and acquaintances for this life that I have today. It is you who makes me worth living my life to the fullest.

My journey is like most of you, with its fair share of ups and downs. When I pray to God, I ask for the strength and ability to rise through challenges than to merely avoid them. There will be good times, and there will be bad times. There will be tears, there will be smiles. As I think, it is this very essence of uncertainty and challenges that keeps me going and not giving up, for at the end of darkness, there is always light.

Thank you folks. These are bad times and I thought I should let you know that you are awesome and that you’ll do great! Let me know what you feel like. Let me know your story, about your journey. Until then, hasta luego!

"Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy." -Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

++SharatChandran Nair is an aspiring interior designer. He loves to design and create aesthetically cool things everyday. Do have a look at his creations, and follow his page on Instagram!

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THE POWER OF DREAMS, FAILURES AND SUCCESSES | ACHIEVING DREAMS AMIDST FAILURE AND FEARS

Source: FreePik | Designed: Sharatchandran Nair

Blog Written by: Kartik Nair

Before I start writing this blog on how to deal with failures and achieve your goals, allow me to begin with a simple question: What is the first thing that comes to your mind looking at the following words – dreams, failures, and successes? More often than not, if logic and popular trends are to be believed, they are nothing but a series of events that happens across an individual’s life, whenever something is attempted to be pursued. It all starts with a dream. It then moves towards a more streamlined goal. Then, steps are laid out, and a plan is created. The execution part comes next. The result follows. If this were true, all of us would have been successful in all our endeavors; we would never taste failures. But we do fail. If things are so streamlined and straightforward, why do things not go our way 'as expected'?

Time for one more flashback-Go back in your past and think of a moment, a time in your life where things didn't go as planned. In other words, you didn't meet your goal. You were at a low point in your life. But. You worked it out. You were successful. Again, as we, humans are more negative than positive, we tend to view our failures as more significant events in our lives than successes. Why is that? How can we overcome this habit? In general, how can we look at failures of our past more positively to reduce failures of the future? How can we make our dreams more realistic, and how can we actually follow them to where we want to be? It's all there in this blog on how to overcome failure.

What is Failure? What is the definition of failure?

In a nutshell, failure is the inability to meet your own goals or expectations or targets for that matter. We like to get what we think of, what we dream. Sometimes we get, in other times we don’t. I am not a mathematician, but the chances of you succeeding, in any event, you try to do are 50%. Basic probability (considering an event of two outcomes)

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Probability (/prɒbəˈbɪlɪti/) – the quality or state of being probable; the extent to which something is likely to happen or be the case. (Basically how likely something is to happen)

Think of it as the two sides of a coin. When a coin is tossed, the outcome is either heads or tails. In real life, when you set out to do something, the outcome is balanced: You may fail. You may succeed. But unlike random events in probability, in real life, our actions determine the results or consequences, and therefore, there is, a direct correlation between what we do, who we are, how we go about things (and a lot of other things for that matter) and getting the desired result. Before I start talking about failure, here's a little exercise for you. I'm about to show you an image (It is one of the best pictures I've ever seen, a meaningful one, one I hold genuinely dear) – And you have to see the images and think of a storyline. How? What? Why? When? Where? For that matter, once you read this entire blog, you can get back to me with your story, your understanding of this image. But that's for later. Here you go!

Source: Internet

A remarkable image this one, isn't it? I'm sure you may have your own imaginations or stories, which you can share with me if you feel like. But one thing, I'm sure you might have thought of is a failure of achievement of dreams, inability to do what he wants, giving in on his dreams, losing faith in himself and his abilities, trying to cope with failure, etc. (You may have been more creative and may have thought of something way differently as well!)

As you can see from the image and relate a certain part of it with your life, one thing is sure: failure is scary, and obviously, the emotional baggage of it is too heavy to carry. For a large number of us, failure becomes a mirror image of our self-worth and our talent, and therefore, we tend to view a goal-failure as a personal one. I sort, of like the Gen-X approach in this regard. More than we did, today, failure is considered to be an integral component of success. Failure allows us to learn from our mistakes, errors and teaches us what steps to continue and what to stop, where to stop, etc.

But, what about quitting before you reach your goal? How different is it from failing?

Think of this. You’ve invested a lot of your time, money and energy in the pursuit of something and you live your dream, but due to a few reasons, you tend to find the path of goal attainment hard and not achievable, and so, you give up. That’s quitting. It is different from failure, in the regard that someone has at least 'tried' performing, irrespective of the consequences. Quitters are, therefore, different in this regard. Naturally, our reaction to quitting is, therefore, different from our reaction with failure. Personally, I would find trying and failing more acceptable than quitting. Thus, failure indicates strength and quitting implies weakness. We tend to admire people who despite failures and adversities, tend to follow their passion or goals and achieve what they desired. Kudos to their perseverance and dedication. But we are mostly unsympathetic to quitters. Losers, we call them!

This very perception becomes ingrained in people, and it gives rise to the anti-quitter bias. This ends up getting people stuck in toxic relationships, thankless jobs, etc. The very fear of quitting makes them work harder, without getting much in return and in turn, it adds up to massive costs in a person's mental and emotional well-being. But what if there's some unattainable goal? Given this situation, one might argue that quitting is a viable option. Frequent failure drains you, both mentally and physically. Sometimes, it is better to just let go. Letting go (sounds cooler than quitting, right?) of something unattainable gives us more freedom and opportunities to pursue other goals, and we can use the time and resources to other goals. Just think about using the same level of energy, time and resources to doing something you genuinely like. Quitting, therefore is not a hindrance to growth.

The mad rush around us and the rat race that we’ve all heard of kills our ability and desire of who we actually want to be. There are a lot of distractions, probably at every step. When I was going through various sources for this blog, I stumbled upon this beautiful line, "Life is like a constant game of poker; the game never stops. You can stop playing; you can give up, but the game keeps going. And life generously tries to keep us in the game by offering us new cards each day." Think of the new cards as challenges and opportunities and life as a game in which you are the sole controller and things may seem a little bit less hazy. Often, in life, we’ve become good at seeking things to help us justify why we can’t reach our true potential. Going back to the poker example, it's just because of the fact that whenever we are dealt with cards (when we face the truth or challenging moments of life), -We need to think and run the risk of going out of what we have, of our comfort zone. Always remember this: If we choose not to play, we are guaranteed to lose.

But why do we fail? Why do we quit? What are these things which make us give up?

If you’ve read till this point, I’ll presume that you have a few goals or aspirations of your own that you want to achieve (or maybe you just like reading my blogs!). Well, all jokes apart, here I am about to share a couple of reasons with you, which, as I think, tend to stand in your way of achieving your dream, or your goal. You may have other reasons as well. But, most importantly, things are primarily in our mind, and therefore can be controlled. At the end of the day, you need to realize what you could possibly be doing wrong so that you can actually work upon it.

·        Unwilling to put in efforts: Now, what can I say about this? (Yes, this is one of the biggest reasons for failure). People just don't want to put in the work required. Work and success are proportional and non-negotiable. For successful people, there will be hours and years of hard work backing them.

·        Unwilling to face Failure: Failure is inevitable. Period. It just is. There is no denying this fact. A large number of successful people fail many times in their pursuit of success. Think of any person who is 'successful', and you'll find a bed of thorns than a blanket of roses. Setbacks, adversities and challenges are shared similarities. Handling rejection is also an important aspect of one’s journey. You can't please everyone, and you tend to ask yourselves, "What will others think?" People may like or hate you, and will even do so when you are successful.

·        Having no Goals or Ambitions: What if you travel to some destination without having a clear route-map? We may reach our destination, but that inner feeling of getting lost is there to stay and haunt you. You can have realistic, time-bound, and actionable or outcome-based goals to work upon. However, if it goes overboard and if you end up with unrealistic or crazy goals, you are bound to fail again. You also need to have compelling reasons that drive you towards your goal. They keep you motivated and ask to take continuous action to get to your goal.

·        Lack of Patience: Rome was not built in a day. Look for long-term gains instead of shorter ones. People want to become successful overnight and therefore adopt to ‘secret measures and instant success formulae’ only to end up losing their money, with tons of rejection and a ride back to square one.

·        Negative Attitude: When something doesn’t seem to be working our way, we tend to view all things around you with a sore eye. When you’re not in your right mental condition, you’ll be focusing on the things that are not working and things you can’t control.

So, how can we work on them? How to deal with and cope with failure? How to deal with setbacks?

If we travel in life, say, with a GPS device, when we travel, we are bound to get back on track and keep going till the end if we enter the correct location grids. In the same way, life will find you to your destination if you pursue your goals appropriately. If you feel lost, reconnect with yourself and get back on track. When you admit failure, you don't lose out; you are just made aware of a new direction you didn't consider before. One of my girlfriends once told me, “We do not get everything, always as planned.” Rightfully, as a young and an ignorant young adult, back then, I ignored it, but looking back, that statement has some value. I have failed in a lot of my endeavours and will fail in the future too. But I won’t stop learning from them. They make my achievements and successes sweet and worth it. Trust me, they’ll make your win worth it. Here are a few of my suggestions on how to cope with, how to deal with failure:

•         Stop Being Hard on Yourself: This is perhaps one thing I've most witnessed in people and often, myself in all these years. When things go wrong, we tend to blame ourselves and tend to use that failure as an indication that we are not adequate. However, I ask you to take a moment to think about how you'd explain to a loved one if they were in this situation. Try doing that to yourself. Better said than done, but it helps reduce the pain. The less harsh you are on yourself in the bad times, the quicker you'll hit back.
•         Be Honest with Yourself: Until you honestly admit to yourself about what actually happened with you, you can never fix what happened. Stop justifying what happened. You need not pretend everything's okay when it's not. Self-reflection is hard, it hurts, but instead get the feedback from your own self and work on it than wait for someone to come tell you. Again, you need not prove anything to others.
•        Get to Know Yourself: Wait? What? The truth is: Only you know yourself. Sometimes, that isn't true as well. You're not yourself. You are an 'ideal person' someone wants you to be, buried deep under who your true characteristics. In the passing of time, you've convinced yourself of your plastic existence. Self-awareness is essential, and you need to steer your life-not anyone else, no matter how close they are. They cannot be you.
•        Take Out your own Time and Space: When you feel bad and need to acknowledge your feelings, do so. Don't hold back. Be yourself and let your emotions come out whenever you feel like. If you hold them, it will someday balloon-up and burst, pushing you in more mental trouble. Don’t expect anyone to lend a shoulder to you. You need to develop the habit of taking charge of your emotions.
•        Acknowledge Failure: Hopefully, by now, you might have realized that failure is not something to be afraid of. It happens to everyone. What differentiates a 'normal' and a 'successful' person is their ability in dealing with it. When things don't go your way, there is no need to be ashamed about it or pretend that it's all fine. We need to accept them if we want to learn from them.
•        Learn from Failures: In tests, competitions, sports, exams, challenges and even life, no matter what the outcome is, there is always a lesson. Recognize what went wrong and make genuine attempts to work on it than avoid it. This quality may motivate you further to achieve greater success in life by converting your weakness into your strength.
•        Have Hope: There's always light at the end of a tunnel. Aim for it. Visualize it. Work for it. Think about it. One day, dear reader, you will be there. If you seem lost, just think about what you truly want to achieve, and you will be back on track in no time.

Before ending my blog, here’s something to make your day. Here’s on one my most favourite quotes, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson.

If you like my blogs and would like to make a small contributing for me to keep the good work going, please do consider clicking the little button below and contributing whatever you can, even as less as INR 100. J

NOTE: DO NOT COPY ANY CONTENT OF THIS ESSAY/ARTICLE FOR ANY PURPOSE/S WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S PERMISSION. PEOPLE WILLING TO USE THIS ARTICLE FOR ACADEMIC/RESEARCH PURPOSES NEED TO CITE THE AUTHOR AND THIS WEB PAGE. NOT DOING SO SHALL RESULT IN AN ACT OF PLAGIARISM.

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